Life Supernova

In grade school, I was taught that supernovas are dying stars that have unstable energies and explodes after a certain point is reached. Science says that the almost dramatic death of this star that makes the most luminous points in the sky can give birth to a new set of beautiful stars, giving new life to what would have been a tragic celestial event.

Oftentimes in my life, I experience a number of instances that things become messed up and unstable, actually at most of the time in this year. I cannot count the instances that I have been frustrated and torn either because of school then, now at work, in love and even in some issues that hound me with how I relate to my own family.

Oftentimes, I would feel unappreciated for all the hard and heart pounding efforts that I give. In those moments, I would find myself stopping in the tracks, beaten and looking out at the spaces. Even at many instances, I would explode like a star in a supernova, completely off my tracks and trodden down to earth, stripped of things I hold dear.

Questions linger in my mind and I hear an unwavering silence. At one point, I pointed to heaven and I just cried deep within, never heard, never appreciated. Just as I thought there would be nothing for me, God always disproves me and would send someone my way to comfort and affirm me even as I stumble from the track which He has set me.

I have seen people I have loved leaving me in pain, hard work matters I frustratingly not done well, and disagreements with family in countless matters but He never fails to not only remind me of my inequities but also press to my heart that I have been redeemed from it. No longer am I a slave to loneliness but a slave to love and compassion.

As I open the blinds from the windows of my office, at one side I see the tall buildings of Makati Central Business District and on the other side I see the horizon. It keeps on reminding me that the heights I see and the farthest horizon I cannot see represents the future awaiting for me, so far and I am happy to be still in this journey of living.